This is a pretty juicy topic so if you're reading this I'm so glad you're here because I'm about to spill some serious tea. Dating in this day we live in, with this generation can be a bit...well, let's just say...overwhelming. I was having a deep conversation with my friends about dating and we were all just agreeing on how modern day dating is literally a hot mess. You have people going into relationships broken, people who are unsure of what they want, then you have the cheaters, and heartbreakers, women who can't let their guard down, men who...let's just be real, you know how it is. My friends and I continued to talk and our in-depth conversation led to us discussing the many problems we see that people experience in relationships, the challenges, and ways to properly prepare for a successful relationship. So today I'm here to share with you 8 reasons someone you know or perhaps, maybe even you might be failing at relationships. Now let's spill some tea, shall we?

8. Fabricated Expectations

What you want isn't always what you need. Many of us go into relationships with lists of fabricated expectations and desires that always seem to go unmet. I'm sure the following statements sound very familiar to you: "I want him to be taller than me!" "I want him to be athletic!" "I want her to be slim-thick!" "I want him to be a doctor!" Blah, blah, blah! Your relationship will likely not work out if you go into it with erroneous, self-made expectations of the other person. It’s not fair to put unachievable standards on your partner or vice versa. These expectations are fantasies and false hopes that ruin your idea of your partner. Some people never realize the unwarranted damage they cause because of these inflated ideas. In the viral Relationship Goal Series by Pastor Mike Todd, Mike Todd said that the formula to frustration is: fabricated expectations + failed reality= feelings of frustration. Why be frustrated and stuck when you can just rip up your list. Trash your selfish, sometimes even unrealistic expectations. Get rid of your list of expectations of what you want and let God send you/ help you get the person you need.

7. Character Development

It is common for people to go into relationships without developing and working on themselves. You shouldn't be going into a relationship with lots of insecurities, lacking self-control, not being able to trust, with walls built up, anger issues, etc. Sometimes you have to be single for a season to focus on yourself, improving your character, and growing before you risk entering a relationship toxically. Before getting into a relationship, you should take time to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually so that you can be better equipped to be with someone and add value to a relationship. It's pretty simple, if you know you're a little messed up as a person and that there are areas that need some serious improvement, work on those things, get better, and then maybe you can think about pursuing someone or being in a relationship. You want to be the person you're looking for is looking for. Read that last sentence again, you'll get it tomorrow!

6. Bad Communication Skills

Lack of communication is one of the biggest relationship ruiners of all time. Communication issues frequently result in break-ups and even divorce. Many people who have communication issues are afraid to tell the other person their issues and desires or keep them to themselves to protect the other person's feelings; that is selfish. If you struggle to communicate in a way that helps to progress your relationship, over time you will find that you will grow apart from the other person. Staying silent rather than discussing your wants, needs, goals, and issues in a relationship will eventually end it. After all, if you can't communicate with the person you're in a relationship with or don't feel comfortable doing so, you might not even need to be with them in the first place.

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